It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
