One girl and one boy is just not enough.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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