This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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