Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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