The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
