If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
