I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
