He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The air taste purple.
Randomize
