My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
