Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
