East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
