no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
