Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
