if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
