i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
