Hey man sorry I got all grabby
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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