I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
