i permit you to call me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
