My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
