On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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