Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
