he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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