i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
