last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
