like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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