i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
