...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
