Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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