if i can run in heels then i can drive
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
