NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
