You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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