and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
