I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
