He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
