No more Irish car bombs ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
