some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
