Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pappa wants mamma naked
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
