It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
