If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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