I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
