Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
