woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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