It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
