Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
