another moral hangover. fuck.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
And then he peed in my hair
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