Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Panties = found
Randomize
