So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
