are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
