And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize