I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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