so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
