yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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