We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
