i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
