what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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