Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize