what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
