i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Randomize
