I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
