So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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