I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
