I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize