Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
