But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
People with herpes should wear stickers.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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