the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
